There are no limitations in life except the ones we make. Uncertainty and mystery are the energies of life. Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity. There’s a lot of uncertainty happening around us that sometimes gets us worried sick, tired even bitchy at times. The uncertainty of when your man will propose and save you the dilemma of having to answer the question when are the bells ringing? (y’all know what I’m talking about).The frustration of seeing all the other hotter chicks and wondering am I really good enough? So you go on an all out silent bitchy war envying the assumed hotter chicks (lol). No wonder the old wives tale that women don’t like themselves. You know the uncertainty of not knowing which way your life is turning next in your career and you are gradually getting lost in trivial things. Life can be one hell of a mystery at times. Here are 4 slightly bad – ass rules your momma never taught you while you were growing up but you need them to be that girl who can handle these funny mystery;
Rule 1. Be the girl who’s got her own brand: Here is one liberating truth that you will come in contact with at some point in your life and that is; there’s no perfect fit for all. The grass always look greener on other side until you get closer to it and see the withered brown leaves underneath. There’s nothing neither rarer nor more beautiful than a girl comfortable in her perfect imperfections. That is the essence of beauty. What I’m saying is this; embrace your brand of beauty. However tall, short, light, dark, assy or busty. Be your best kind of woman. Why is it so important that you embrace your brand of beauty and not compare yourself with anyone? Because the world’s opinion changes like the wind. If we celebrate what we have, others will join us. If we constantly apologise for our features, others will help us with that too. That you got some weakness in any way either physical, mental, emotional is no news. Everyone’s got their fair share of pain and denial from life. Everyone’s got their fair share of leverage too. You can choose which to enlarge, your leverage or your pain. I choose to make bold my leverage. Focus less on your imperfections, focus more on the endless opportunity that life is presenting you with. Don’t let any man or woman make you believe that you deserve less. People who usually belittle others are so full of flaws themselves. Do not beg anyone to stay in your life either. You are not to be managed. You are to be cherished. The person, who really loves you, sees what a mess you can be sometimes, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle and still want you in their life. This applies to you too. Before you belittle someone else remember you got your flaws. So stay humble, relax, breathe in, quit the competition and just live. There really is no perfect fit for all. And honestly, it’s those little imperfection that make up your identity. They make you perfect in an organic kind of way. Be the girl who loves her own organic brand.
Rule 2. Be the Girl with Purpose: Living to create an earthly legacy is a short sighted goal. A wiser use of time is to build an eternal legacy. That is what purpose is all about. The most damaging aspect of contemporary living is short term thinking. God offers you an opportunity beyond your life time. Purpose is not self discovery or self mastery. It’s much more than that. It’s all encompassing. According to Rick Warren, author of the best seller Purpose Driven Life, “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfilment, peace of mind, happiness, family, career, dreams and ambitions… Gods motive for creating us was his love…life is about letting God use you for his will not using him for your self- actualisation…we discover life’s meaning and purpose when we make God our reference point”. There’s something magical about a girl that has discovered her identity in God. She isn’t confused about her wants and her needs. She has a direction and she’s walking towards it. Even her choice of a partner is crafted into the bigger picture. When anything in creation fulfils its purpose, it brings God glory. Living for Gods glory is the greatest achievement we can ever have. This will most likely require a change in our priorities, schedule, relationships and everything else. It sometimes means choosing a difficult path instead of an easy one. The pleasure principle in modern society says if its God, then it should be easy. However, there was no pleasure for Jesus in dying on the cross yet he did, to fulfil Gods purpose. Be the girl who has discovered her identity. This includes her personality, career path, gifts, temperaments and weaknesses. Today marks the beginning of purpose in your life. I have chosen to rebirth into purpose myself, so we are basically birds of the same feather now. (Give me a hi – five. Winks)
Rule 3. Be the Girl with Class: There’s been a juxtaposition over the years between classy and flashy especially amongst ladies. Truth is, there’s a thick line between the two. There’s also this societal concept of class as a position of power and status. Well class is more than these two. However class can beget you flashy things or position but neither can make up for class. That you are wearing a bold curls N100k braz wig on a bronzed chick, thick long lashes and red painted lips is fabulous but doesn’t make you classy. Your father is the vice chancellor of University of Edinburgh and has a connection with the white house, congratulations but that doesn’t make you classy either. Class is a virtue and virtue is divine. Ladies of class always refer to themselves as Divas. Heres a little light on being a Diva by Michelle McKinney Hammond; “Divas command attention without demanding it with an air of confidence, finesse, style and originality. Divas never just walk into a room they arrive. They never exit a room without leaving a part of themselves behind, a rich deposit of wisdom, an encouraging word, something seemingly intangible that leaves a lasting impression on the hearts of those that interacted with her. Divas are prayer warriors” (lol, did you see that?) I didn’t say so. Michelle did, in her book titled The Diva Principle. True Divas walk in grace because they embrace the power of being pure in heart. That kind of grace is only birthed in the place of prayer. A true diva is not interested in hogging the limelight; she’s fiercely determined to shed the light. That’s the opposite of being flashy. A true diva does not slay but rather lifts. She knows how to empower those around her by celebrating their small achievements and spurring them to greater heights. That’s the opposite of a person in power who will always keep you dependent on his favours. Remember a queen is always a queen with or without subjects. Its her right. You have class by reason of your virtue and value. Be the girl who knows her worth. Be the divine kind of diva. Be the girl with class.
Rule 4. Be That Phenomenal Kind of Girl: Burn the candles. Use the nice sheets. Wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special and so are you. Oh yea! People are going to say things about you. They are going to categorise you. People too weak to follow their dream will always find a way to discourage yours. Don’t let them. I know it can get to you sometimes but shake it off. Never explain yourself to anyone because the person who likes you doesn’t need it and the person who dislikes you won’t believe it. Are you single? Then be grateful for the freedom to follow your dream. Love will find you. Marriage is not a competition. Take your time, fall in love, nurse your ambition, and grow your relationship because forever is too long to be unhappy. Get outside every day, miracles are waiting everywhere. Challenge your comfort zone before it confines your conquest. Be bold enough to use your voice, brave enough to listen to your heart and strong enough to live the life you’ve always imagined. Opportunity can arrive at the most unexpected and inconvenient times. Being willing to push beyond your limits while they are there is what differentiates a conqueror from an ordinary individual. You are only human. You can get scarred at times. However learn to face each fear as it comes. You are allowed to screw up and make mistakes but learn to forgive yourself and rise up ten times better. For no man ever steps in the same river twice. It is either he is not the same man or it’s not the same river.
Be the girl who says positive things when everyone else is complaining. Be the girl who gives advice from the heart. Be the girl who’s got her own brand of magic. Be that phenomenal kind of girl.
This is Just my little way of contributing to my ladies out there. Feel free to contribute to my life too. My name is Crown Nwachukwu. You can always find me @ www.dinspirer.com. Cheers!