Many a cliché has spread their wings. Over the years, they spanned the corners. They pulled the strings of our intellect, with no one to clap a strand of their feathers. One of such inference is this; that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I know they said that to you. Yes, they said that to me too.
But the beholders I thought that mattered, changed constantly with the wind. A riotic rush of livid black clouds on some days. An unintelligent shock of white lightening on other days. At times, a splatter of large rain drops on zinc roof . Other times, a streak of sun rays that kissed the crevice of the land with it’s tangerine hue. Each man fighting his own demon, a continuos cycle of win and loss. “Man know thyself” said the Oracle, reminding him of his wandering spirit. Now how can man who is saddled with the search for his meaning, be the better judge of my own essence?
This hunch has crippled our liberalities, pinning us to the hem of the beholder. He drags us to whichever pole on his bearing; to the North or to the South. Like the ever reducing extremes of a swinging pendulum are the reflections of his demeanor. A mirror of what we assume we look like. Different mirrors, different reflections, we have become confused.
This frustration is the reason why we fight. One man slanders his neighbour to gain the loyalty of another. Workers trade on eye service to get the favour of the boss. It is the reason our love went unrequited for long. We bruised our knee against a slammed door begging for love, and sought approval in all the wrong places. Like a raggedy shamble of beggars on the street, we held up our gaze to the beholder. He tipped our tongue with little drops of water, but it didn’t quite hold our appetite. Not because he is too ruthless, but because he doesn’t have enough. So we chase after his opinion continually, hoping to hear nice compliments.
A new surmise I bring to you today, that beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. The beauty that you carry is immutable. Although buried in the soil of life’s affliction, it sprouts in few days to hug the earths vigor. It is the scars emboldened in your heart from yersteday’s hurts and mistakes. The lessons learnt and corrections made. It is the throb in your gut at midnight, when the whole world is still asleep. The trumping of your head against your chest, the rapid flood of oxygen in your lungs, that anxiety of what tomorrow might bring. It is the weirdness you exhibit in a second. It is the spontaneity in your gait. The picture of memories preserved, a moment frozen in time. It is the hidden treasures in your mind, of words spoken and secrets kept. Certain things you left unsaid, to be revealed at a different time. Beauty is the compassion in our soul. For the things we didn’t know before experience taught us, and the forgiveness of our neighbour’s wrong.
Most importantly, Beauty is in the level of your self esteem. This involves an understanding of your self concept. Your self esteem is the reactor core of your subconscious. It is affected by the relationship between your self ideal and your self image. Whenever your current performance (self image) is consistent with your values and priorities (self ideal), your self esteem goes up. You feel happier and more exhilarated. You are more positive and personable with others. However, when your current performance falls below your ideal standard, your self esteem goes down. You feel anxious, unhappy, self conscious and easily embarrassed. You are prone to reacting to other people’s perception of you. Your level of self esteem determines the vitality of your personality and thus becomes the key to your performance. It brings out the sunshine in you, the core of your essence, your real beauty.
“Don’t just aim to be the best version of you says Mathew Hussey, be the version of your self that you are most proud of. It is a confidence booster. The kind of confidence that announces your beauty. Do not be afraid of being you. For beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, it is in all of you. The hurts, the fears, the compassion and the confidence of your self esteem.
Written by Crown Nwachukwu