“My first love has been taken away from me. I wish I could turn back the hands of time…
Its gonna take forever to get over this pain…”
A single drop of grief welled up at the corner of my eye. I wiped my face with the back of my palm but the tears kept rolling. I could no longer hold the heartbreak. I cried a river listening to Chidinma’s lyrics in “Gone Forever.”
But how come about the tears?
I was contacted by barrister Chiji to write the script of a montage for the burial ceremony of his mum. So he sent me Chidinma’s song for the voicing which we later did at the studio. But While I sat at my table writing the script, the memory of my mum flooded my heart. The most tragic loss I ever had.
We did take away all her pictures yet everything seems to wear her presence. I see the high priced laces she used to wear folded away in a lonely box. Prickly hives cascade down my skin at the sight. Staring at the incandescent array of stars from the balcony used to be our favourite night time. Now I fear I might catch a cold standing there alone. “I have seen your days young girl”, the wisdom in those light brown eyes will chide me deliberately. I know her smell. I know her tears. I know the twinkle in her dimple when amused.
And I wonder, why do we live only to die?
But the question is, while we lived, what did we spend our time on? How many people on their death bed wished they spent more time working?
We are constantly making choices about the way we spend our time. From the major seasons to the individual moments. We’re also living with the consequences of those choices. And many of us don’t like those consequences especially when we feel that there’s a gap between how we are spending our time and what’s deeply important.
We may be brought to an awareness of this gap in a dramatic way. A loved one suddenly dies and is gone. Then we see the stark reality of what could have been but wasn’t because we were to busy chasing money and schedules.
I have been studying the importance of first things since the year. I’m about to wrap it up by the end of this first quarter in an explosive e-downloadable article. Stay with me.
My condolence to Barr. CJ and family.